“What is good? Everything that heightens the feeling of power in man, the will to power, power itself. What is bad? Everything that is born of weakness. What is happiness? The feeling that power is growing, that resistance is overcome.” Those words were burned into my thoughts.
But then, after a long climb, before the descent, he would flash his infectious smile, throw his arms up and point to Santa Clara Valley. “That’s our world. Don’t let anybody tell you, myself included, how to live your life. There is nothing written in stone. Good, bad, evil, they’re constructs proffered by people who live by a faith.
The essence of life is this instant. Forget everything else.” Then he would speed down the steep, twisty turns of Page Mill Road like a demon possessed. He conquered the climbs and mastered the descents like nobody else.
I remember his words during times of hardship and distress. They came to me on the second night of my discontent lying on the hard bed under the dim light of a summer moon. In the shadows of my mind lurked the true meaning and purpose of this venture.
I took it upon myself to chase a dream, one calling for overcoming hardship. I entered with a certain naiveté. The harshness of racing had come to roost. Carl had it right. Weakness is bad, overcoming resistance is good. How it is achieved does not matter. As long as resistance is overcome, you have won.
But then I remembered he told me to live for the moment. It might be instinctual. On the morrow, in the depths of the struggle, I would welcome the battle, adapt to my situation. But in the end, I sought an outcome to my liking. Whatever happened, the end had to justify the means.
Silicon Valley Cyclist 
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